Étranger Things: No shirt, no shoes, no bonjour ! No service !

on

 

Here’s the tiny superpower that unlocks France: say “Bonjour, Madame/Monsieur” the second you cross a threshold. Not a beat later. Not after you’ve read three chalkboards like a menu detective. Right away. It’s the key that starts the social engine—skip it and the engine coughs politely and dies while you wonder why your espresso and joie de vivre are late.

Equality at the table (and the till)

In France, servers, shop staff, and customers are equals—adults doing their jobs together. A server is a trained professional, not your temporary butler; you’re a guest, not a monarch with a loyalty card. We both say bonjour, we both say s’il vous plaît, we both say merci. That mutual respect is the whole vibe. (Bonus: use vous until you’re invited to tu.)

Small shops = someone’s living room (with nicer lighting)

Owner-run boutiques and tiny boulangeries can feel like stepping into a home. Act like it:

  • Greet on entry: “Bonjour, Madame/Monsieur.”

  • If you’re just browsing: “Je regarde, merci.” (I’m just looking, thanks.)

  • Ask before touching delicate items or photographing: “Je peux ?”

  • Say goodbye even if you didn’t buy: “Merci, au revoir, bonne journée !”

Cafés: where the magic (slowly) happens

  • Seat yourself or wait? If there’s eye contact and a nod, go for it; otherwise hang back for guidance.

  • Get attention with patience + a soft “Excusez-moi, Madame/Monsieur”—never snapping or waving.

  • Order mini-scripts

    • “Un café allongé, s’il vous plaît.” (Americano-ish)

    • “C’est pour ici / à emporter.” (For here / to go)

    • “Une carafe d’eau, s’il vous plaît.” (Tap water)

  • You control the clock. They won’t rush you or drop the bill automatically. When ready:

    • “On peut payer, s’il vous plaît ?” or “L’addition, s’il vous plaît.”

    • Unsure where to pay? “On paie ici ou au comptoir ?”

Restaurants: rhythm, not speed

  • Wait to be seated.

  • Bread is not buttered (I know, I know—my Midwestern soul fainted too).

  • Enjoy the pacing; ask if you need something.

  • Tipping: service is included; rounding up or a few coins for lovely service is kind, not compulsory.

Micro-manners that earn big smiles

  • Bonjour first, question second. Always.

  • Bonsoir after late afternoon (roughly 18:00).

  • Lower volume = higher charm. Indoor voices, outdoor terraces included.

  • Line etiquette: hold your place, eye-smiles are welcome, elbows are not.

  • Names help: “Merci, Chef/Patron/Madame” lands warmly.

Pocket phrase kit (screenshoot me!)

  • “Bonjour/Bonsoir, Madame/Monsieur.” — Hello/Good evening.

  • “Je regarde, merci.” — Just looking, thanks.

  • “Excusez-moi…” — Excuse me…

  • “Est-ce que je peux… ?” — May I…?

  • “On peut payer ? Par carte ?” — Can we pay? By card?

  • “Merci, au revoir, bonne journée/soirée !” — Thanks, bye, have a good day/evening!

Bottom line: France runs on a tiny ritual of mutual respect. Lead with bonjour, sprinkle s’il vous plaît, finish with merci—and suddenly the croissant is flakier, the coffee bolder, and you’re not a customer invading a space; you’re a welcome guest in it.