My Journey: “Bonjour” at the checkout, “Vite!” at the bus - my weekend pretending to be French

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I had a very scientific linguistic experiment at the grocery store last week-end: spotted a couple who might be fellow Anglophones (was that… a northern Kentucky accent?), desperately wanted to say hi, then chickened out because the bus is coming in five minutes. Conclusion: I rolled my R at the cashier like a lawnmower (“bonjouRRR…”) and jogged to the arrêt. Reader, I made the bus. My dignity? Debatable.

And yes, I know: French R’s don’t actually roll. They do that elegant little uvular thing in the back of the throat (IPA: ʁ). I know this. My tongue, however, did not get the memo. (Wikipedia)

The “pretend-you’re-French” weekender (kind, legal, and 100% reversible)

  • Open with “Bonjour/Bonsoir” to every human, every shop, every bus driver, even the dog (optional). It’s not just “hello,” it’s the key that unlocks help. (Oui In France)

  • Default to vous (you can downgrade to tu later if invited). It’s polite, safe, and keeps you from accidental over-familiarity. You can even ask: On se tutoie ? (Lawless French)

  • Keep it simple at checkout: Bonjour… une baguette, s’il vous plaît. Carte. Merci, bonne journée. Fancy can wait till week 2.

  • Use your inside voice. France does group whisper better than my entire extended family at Thanksgiving (no citation needed).

  • Know your bus reality. Schedules and last-minute changes exist; check the network before you sprint like I did. (Hello, Aix en Bus.) (aixenbus.fr)

Micro-Language Note: about that R…

The standard French R is usually produced at the back of the mouth (a voiced uvular fricative). If your tongue tries to trill like Spanish or Italian, gently think “soft gargle,” not “purring kitten.” It’s a party trick your uvula learns with time. (Wikipedia)

Tiny scripts you can steal (and tweak)

  • At the till (A1–A2):
    Bonjour, ça va ? — Oui, merci. Je prends ça. Carte, s’il vous plaît. — Merci, bonne journée !

  • If you spot folks from “your pays” but want to stay in French mode (A2–B1):
    Bonjour ! Vous avez trouvé ce que vous cherchez ? (If they switch to English, you can smile and say, Je fais un week-end 100% français—à bientôt !)

  • Polite boundary (B1–B2):
    Excusez-moi, je dois attraper mon bus—bonne journée !

  • Upgrade (B2–C1):
    On peut se tutoyer ou vous préférez qu’on se vouvoie ? (Watch them glow with cultural correctness.) (LingoCulture)

Quick immersion challenge (today or tomorrow)

  1. Greet 10 people first. Count on your fingers if needed. (Bonjour, always.) (LangCenter)

  2. Do one full purchase entirely in French. No emergency English.

  3. Ask a tiny non-urgent question: L’arrêt pour L’Aixpress A, c’est bien ici ?

  4. End every interaction with Merci, au revoir.

  5. If you hear English, smile… and stay in French for 30 more minutes. (You’re not being rude; you’re training your brain.)

Useful bits if you’re in/around Aix

  • Aix en Bus network info & links to lines/alerts. Handy before you do the checkout-to-bus dash. (aixenbus.fr)

  • “Bonjour” matters (why it opens doors). (Oui In France)

  • When to use tu or vous. Clear, friendly explanations. (Lawless French)

  • French R nerd corner (what your tongue is actually doing). (Wikipedia)

What I learned (besides cardio at the Rotonde)

  • You can be friendly and stay in French.

  • The cashier doesn’t care if your R sounds like a vintage Vespa; they care that you said bonjour and merci. (Oui In France)

  • Buses reward those who don’t overthink—check the line, then go. (aixenbus.fr)

Your turn — on papote à Aix !

Ever “pretended” to be local for practice? Did it help? Drop your funniest checkout line, your best “bonjour” moment, or your tu/vous victories in the comments. A1 to C2, everyone’s welcome—especially your glorious R fails. 🎤🚌🥖

(PS: If you see me near the produce with heroic eye contact and a bus schedule open, I’m not ignoring you—I’m just doing my immersion homework.)

Location: France